


Needs Part 1

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-04-17
Updated: 1999-04-17
Packaged: 2018-11-11 04:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11141412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Will Ray ever come back to Fraser?





	Needs Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

Needs Part 1

## Needs Part 1

by Due Sue

Author's disclaimer: All characters belong to Alliance etc, etc. 

Author's notes: Story is mine!

* * *

Hello, how are you? Well I hope! This is my very first effort at fan-fiction. I started this piece some months ago and shelved it after a while not believing it to be good enough. After suffering DSWS, I picked it up again and decided to get to it! It started as one piece but after advice from my daughter, I decided to split it into two or maybe even three. Who knows? Please let me know what you think of it, good or not. Disclaimer \-- These guys belong to Alliance (shame), all the rest belong to me. I have rated this as PG no violence and the 'odd' swear word. Please don't use this for anything else except for private reading. Thanks to my daughter Jaime for her help, encouragement and for 'just being there' I hope you enjoy it. 

Needs  
Due South Fiction  
By 

Part 1 

Fraser realised that there was something 'unusual' happening with the station house but he was not sure exactly what. He just had a 'feeling' there was something different, something not just right. He shrugged his shoulders and walked on into the squad room, Diefenbaker trailing along behind. Fraser let his eyes roam around the room; yes something was definitely amiss here! Francesca was no where to be seen, Detectives Huey and Duey were deep in conversation with Lieutenant Welsh. Ray was not at his desk. Everyone was very quiet. Fraser walked to Ray's desk, removed his Stetson and sat, preparing to tidy the paperwork littered on the desktop, whilst Dief settled himself under the desk. 'Ray should be along any moment' thought Fraser 'he never misses the offer of a free lunch!' 

"Constable, can I see you for a moment - in my office?" Lieutenant Welsh's gruff voice called as he walked across the squad room and back into his office. "Of course Leftenant" Fraser immediately stood and walked toward Welsh's office. He hesitated at the door. "Come in Fraser. Take a seat" Welsh sat behind his desk looking very 'stern' Fraser believed. 'Oh dear' shuddered Fraser 'I wonder if Inspector Thatcher has spoken to Leftenant Welsh yet?' 

Fraser stood in his usual stance - to attention. "Thank you Sir, I prefer to stand" "SIT DOWN Fraser" Welsh growled. Fraser realised that this must be a much more serious matter than he first thought. "Sir" Fraser obeyed and sat, at attention! "Fraser I need to talk to you about Ray Vecchio" Welsh looked down at the pencil he was turning in his hands. He threw the pencil onto the desk and looked up at Fraser, who was looking at him with that typical Mountie caught-in-the-headlights look. 

"There's no easy way to say this Fraser, but Ray's been injured" Welsh looked awkward, embarrassed even. "How serious is the injury Leftenant?" Fraser felt a slight unease in the pit of his stomach. Welsh sighed and looked Fraser straight in the eye. "He's bad Fraser" The unease in Fraser's stomach suddenly increased.  
Fraser studied Lieutenant Welsh face for a moment. "I did not realise that Ray was on stakeout over the weekend". "He wasn't Fraser" Welsh seemed to be sweating now. 

Fraser stood as if ready to go "I thought there was some change in the mood of the squad room this morning. What hospital has he been admitted to Leftenant? I would like to go and see how he is as soon as we have finished our conversation" 

"Fraser, Ray is in critical condition, just family members are...can see him. And sit down Fraser I haven't finished yet". Fraser sat down again. Now he really was worried. 

Welsh sighed 'The Mountie must have left his brains at home this morning, doesn't he get it?' he thought. Welsh stood and walked around his desk to perch on a corner. 'Maybe I should try the sympathetic approach' Welsh thought   
He reached out and placed a hand on Fraser's shoulder. "I don't think you understand Fraser." His voice trailed off. 

Fraser jumped up again, "I just need to get over to the hospital and see him as fast as possible sir". "FRASER please sit down" Welsh shook his head and rubbed a hand over his eyes. 

"Look Fraser you really don't understand do you? This is Ray we're talking about" 

"Yes sir, I know; now if I can be dismissed I need to get across to the hospital - which one did you say he was in sir?" Fraser seemed to be pleading with Welsh to get out of the office now. 

"Damn it Fraser,' Welsh shouted "I mean RAY VECCHIO!! THE Ray Vecchio. Your best friend!" Welsh was getting angry now. 

"Sir, I know sir" Fraser looked steadily into Welsh's eyes. A frown creasing his forehead. 

"No, Fraser you don't know the half of it. I am not talking about Stan Kowalski; I'm talking about Ray Vecchio" Welsh said softly. 

Fraser suddenly realised what Welsh was trying to say to him. He was trying to say that Ray was badly injured - his Ray was critically injured. Fraser suddenly lost his natural colour and turned a strange shade of grey. Fraser stood up straight, staring at Welsh, his face a mask. "Sir, the hospital?" He demanded Welsh give up the information. 

"Mercy Hospital Fraser" Welsh signed, he knew this was going to be bad. 

Fraser was gone in a flash, snatching up his Stetson and running through the squad room. Welsh shouted "Constable Besbriss will take you to the..." But Fraser was already gone. Welsh looked across at Ray's desk. He shook his head, a tight sad smile on his face. "Someone get me a cup of coffee!" He shouted angrily. 

* * *

Fraser almost lost his footing on the stairs as he leapt down them. Dief was right behind him as he got to the door of the station house. Parked outside was a squad car, light bar flashing, Elaine holding open the passenger door. "Get in Fraser - hurry!" Dief jumped in the rear, Fraser leapt into the front seat. Elaine had pulled away before Fraser could shut the door. 

"Fraser" Elaine started to speak but stopped again as she realised that Fraser was staring out of the windshield his face a mask of calm "I..." Elaine started again but then gave up. Nothing she would say would help the situation. 'Just drive girl, get him there before anything happens' she thought.   
Fraser's mind was in turmoil. How could Ray have been shot? He was on an undercover assignment working with the FBI. Unless his cover had been 'blown'? He closed his eyes in despair. That must be it. The gang Ray had been undercover with had almost certainly discovered his real identity and had tried to kill him! 

Opening his eyes, Fraser realised that they were parked outside the hospital already. Grabbing his Stetson he glanced at Elaine. "I'll go in and see how things are with the family" Fraser almost leapt out of the car and held the door open for Dief. Closing the door he leaned into the squad car window. Elaine smiled gently, she could see that Fraser was in pain. "Shall I take Dief home with me tonight?" "Ah, no, thank you kindly Elaine, I would like to keep Dief with me at the moment" Fraser placed his Stetson on his head and straightened his serge jacket. "I will let you know how things are as soon as I can' he turned and started to walk away. 'Wait.' Elaine called, jumping out of the car. 'Ben, wait a minute' Elaine wanted to catch Fraser before he strode away. Fraser turned and looked down at her expectantly. 'Ben....' Elaine looked up at him, her hand on his arm. 'Oh Ben, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say' Fraser looked into her eyes; he understood what she was trying to say. Elaine stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. Fraser smiled sadly; he would have preferred this to have happened another time. Fraser turned and walked away, Dief close on his heels. Elaine got back in the car and sat thinking about Ray and Benton, tears flowing down her cheeks. She decided she'd wait for him, no matter how long he was. She knew she should be on duty soon but she wasn't going anywhere just yet! 

* * *

He could see Mrs Vecchio in the waiting area. Francesca was no where to be seen. It looked like the family priest was comforting Ray's mother. She looked up and saw Fraser walking towards her. Immediately she stood up and rushed to Fraser, grabbing his tunic "Oh Benton what am I to do, my poor Raimondo, my poor baby, oh no" She dissolved into floods of tears. Fraser wrapped his arms around her, trying to comfort her any way he could. "I'm sure he will be fine Mrs Vecchio, the doctors are doing everything they can for him" Fraser had no idea what Ray's condition was but he had to try and comfort her. Fraser nodded to the priest who took the sobbing Mrs Vecchio out of his arms and helped her sit down. "Where is he?" Fraser looked around for a doctor, but instead saw Francesca sobbing and stumbling down the corridor. "Francesca!" Fraser called. He walked quickly towards her. Suddenly he felt sick to the stomach. 'Oh God' he thought. Francesca saw him and almost fell into his arms. "Ben, oh God Ben" He almost carried her to the waiting area. Fraser sat and rocked her whilst she sobbed. "Benton, I am so glad you are here" Mrs Vecchio looked at Fraser with sad eyes. "I've not seen him in 2 years...maybe he would not want me here?" Fraser shook his head helplessly. Mrs Vecchio took his hand "You are like another son to me and a brother to Ray, you must go and find out everything" Fraser realised that she was right, Ray felt like a brother to him too. He nodded in agreement and walked towards the nurse's station. He stood at the counter, not wanting to ask but wanting to at the same time. He wanted to prepare for what he was going to hear. He wanted to remember Ray as he was, but he hadn't seen him in so many months. How would he feel? 

Fraser wanted to talk to a doctor about Ray; he glanced around looking for a likely candidate. A dark-haired woman smiled at him "May I help you?" "Would I be able to speak to a doctor and find out a little more about Det. Vecchio's condition?" She smiled at him "Yes of course, Doctor Rand will be able to answer all your questions and will be along shortly. Are you family?" Fraser nodded absently The nurse smiled sympathetically and walked away.  
Fraser walked down the corridor looking for a water fountain. His mind struggling with emotions. It was all too much to bear. Fraser found a fountain and took a long drink. 

* * *

"Mrs Vecchio?"   
Dr Rand approached the Vecchio family, Ray's medical file in his hand. Ray's mother stood up, eyes wide waiting for news of her precious son. "Mrs Vecchio, may I have a word with you in private?" Dr Rand gathered up Mrs Vecchio with the sweep of a hand and gently steered her away from the rest of the waiting family and friends and into a small office by the vending machines. 

"Have you another male member of the family here with you?" Dr Rand glanced at the gathering of people. Mrs Vecchio shook her head and then nodded "Yes! Benton, Benton is here somewhere" "Mrs Vecchio, I'm afraid that I the news is bad and I would prefer it if you had someone else here so that I can explain it all to you both" Dr Rand was worried about this woman. She could easily collapse with the shock of his news. Mrs Vecchio searched about for Benton but could not see him anywhere. 

Dr Rand put his hand on her shoulder as Mrs Vecchio gasped, her hand covering her mouth. "I'm sorry Dr, I do not see him." "Well Mrs Vecchio, Ray was very badly beaten and he is in a very deep coma. He has other injuries but I would like to wait until your other son is here to explain" 

Mrs Vecchio's face grew very pale and her eyes grew large and round. "W...w....will my s..Son live?" Tears streamed down Mrs Vecchio's face and she could hardly speak. 

"I'm sorry to have say that Ray may not pull through" 

Mrs Vecchio stared at the doctor. "Mia Caro, my baby may not be all right?' You have to do something. Oooohhhhhhh, my baby!!" Mrs Vecchio started to sob hysterically and swayed. Dr Rand put his arms around her and held her up. 

Fraser was walking back to the waiting area when he heard Mrs Vecchio crying. He hurried into the office. Seeing Mrs Vecchio sobbing in the doctor's arms Ben instantly thought 'Oh my god Ray is DEAD'. Mrs Vecchio caught sight of Fraser as he entered the office. She pushed the doctor away and flew into Fraser's arms sobbing. "Oh Benton, my son, my son, what am I going to do?" Fraser held her tightly in his arms, looking to the doctor. 

"No, no Mr Vecchio, Ray is still with us. I have just been explaining to your mother a little of Ray's condition. Would you like me to go over it again with you?" Fraser nodded unable to speak. "Ray is in a very deep coma. He was very badly beaten. He has a base-of-skull fracture and his right eardrum is perforated, which means that he's losing fluid from the brain through the ear" He rubbed his face with a hand and sighed. "Ray is on a ventilator. His ribs have been fractured, and have punctured the lungs, so both air and blood are escaping into the chest cavity. Tests have shown that his kidneys may start to malfunction. Ray's right cheekbone and right side of the jaw have been shattered. There may also be damage to the right eye" Dr Rand put his hand on Fraser's shoulder "You do understand Mr Vecchio that Ray may not survive? It all depends on just how much Ray wants to live" 

Fraser just nodded. Ray's injuries were beyond belief. Who could have done this to Ray? What sort of person could do something like this to another human being? 

"Ray is critically ill and as I said, in a very deep coma. We have a long way to go. We'll just have to take it one day at a time. We will reduce the sedative and see if he regains consciousness. The main work we've been able to do so far is insert drains into the chest wall to remove blood from his lungs. We have to stabilise his breathing before we can carry out any other procedures" Dr Rand sighed again. 

For the first time Fraser managed to speak. "Can we see him?" "You can see Ray through the viewing window outside the ICU, but I'm afraid that you will not be allowed inside. I'll ask a nurse to take you up there" 

Dr Rand again comforted Mrs Vecchio again as he left the room. "I'm sorry Mrs Vecchio, Mr Vecchio" Fraser just stood holding Mrs Vecchio tightly stroking her hair. He was numb with grief. After a few moments Fraser knew what he had to do. "Mrs. Mrs Vecchio, you need to stop crying now, you need to speak to your family" Fraser steered Mrs Vecchio across to the chair to sit down. "I'll get you some water" "No Benton please, no I... speak to the family for me and explain?" Mrs Vecchio pleaded, wiping at her streaming eyes. "I cannot do it... I.. Oh my son Mia Caro" She dissolved into floods of tears again. Fraser knelt down beside her and offered her his handkerchief. "I'll do it straight away Mrs Vecchio" 

Fraser stood and smoothed down his jacket. As he opened the door he saw the family anxiously waiting for news. Fraser gave a small smile and walked across to them. Immediately, he was surrounded by the family and by friends from the squad room. "He is still critical and is not improving. Doctor Rand explained that he had been badly beaten and his injuries are many. The next few hours will tell." 

"Fraser, what are his chances?" Frannie looked up into Fraser's blue eyes. "I'm afraid that it does not look good. I'm sorry" Fraser couldn't look at Frannie. He turned and started to walk away. "Hold on Constable" Welsh grabbed at Fraser's arm. "Is that everything? Or are you hiding something?" 

"No Sir, that's all there is. Now if you will excuse me I have errands to run" Fraser strode away leaving Welsh glaring at his back. 

'I have to get out of here' Fraser thought and started to walk even quicker and was almost at a run as he turned the corner bumping into Stan. "Whoa Frase what's happening?" Stan grabbed Fraser by the arms but realised that there was something very wrong. "Is it Ray? Come on Fraser what the hell is wrong?"  
"He has been badly beaten but is alive - just. Now if you'll excuse me Stan I have to go" Fraser strode away leaving the stunned detective in the corridor. 

* * *

Ray opened his eyes. He was very comfortable and warm and he certainly wasn't getting up for work yet. Besides the alarm hadn't gone off yet either. The sun was streaming through his window and the light fell onto the dresser top striking his Chicago PD detective shield. The shield made a reflection on the wall over his bed. Ray watched the shimmering reflected light. He thought about how much he liked being a cop. His father never liked the thought of him being on the force. 'Still' thought Ray 'Pops never really gave a damn anyway' 

He turned over and looked at the watch Benny had given him for Christmas. Almost time to get out of bed. 'Got to go and collect Benny and get to work'. Something strange about that thought though, as though it was not... quite right. He tried to think about it... no, no, it just would not come. Ray thought harder. 'Wait a minute... that's right I'm on undercover assignment! That's what's wrong'. Ray felt that strange feeling again. Benny! It had been so long since he had seen his friend. He tried to imagine his face. 'Hmmm' Ray screwed up his face and concentrated hard. He just could not see it. But it had been 18 months since he had seen him last. He had a new partner now. Probably his new best friend as well! 

'Lets see... red serge, silly hat, annoying manner' Ray grinned. 'Yeah very annoying at times, would arrest himself if he had to!' But still Ray could not see Benny's face. 

'Ah well, better get up and at 'em Ray threw back the covers and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. 'Strange' he thought,' I swore I got outta my clothes last night!' Ray looked down at himself and realised that he must indeed have gone to bed in his clothes, as he was still fully dressed. Ray stood up 'Hey, I even went to bed in my shoes' Sliding his gun into his shoulder holster and badge into his inside pocket of his jacket Ray looked in the mirror to check that he looked okay. 'Hmmm, well I suppose 18 months of undercover does nobody any good.' Ray turned to leave his room and realised he was already outside the house. 'Something very strange going on here' he thought. 

There was the Riv parked at the kerb. Ray peered into the car, there was someone sitting in the passenger seat and that someone was wearing a red serge jacket. 'Geez' Ray thought 'Benny must have walked over here early or I over slept' Ray frowned; there was that feeling again. Shrugging he walked to the Riv and opened the door. Leaning in he exclaimed "Hey Benny I've really missed you man, how are you Buddy?" Ray lowered himself into the driver's seat and stared at the strange man sitting in the car. "Who are you" Ray started to pull his gun when he realised that the man sitting there was a Mountie and an old one at that. "Guess Benny sent you eh? Why did he send you?" 

"Look son, let's just go, we haven't much time" The Mountie was rather curt but then so was Benny half the time. "Okay already" Ray started the engine and slipped the Riv into 'drive'. "Where to?" Ray glared at the old Mountie. "To the 27th Precinct station house son" The Mountie just folded his arms across his chest and stared out of the windshield. "Sure Sir!" Ray swung out from the sidewalk and stomped on the gas. "You should have used your turn signal then son" The Mountie was staring at Ray. 'Oh geez, are they all the same?' Ray thought. 

Ray's driving soon found them outside the station house. "Oh-kay, here we are Sir! Anything else Sir?" Ray's voice dripped sarcasm. Ray switched off the engine and turned to face his companion. "Let's go in Son, we have a lot to do and not much time to do it" The Mountie got out of the Riv and walked into the station house. Ray rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation, then jumped out of the car and followed the Mountie. "HEY, where is everybody?" Ray walked quickly down the familiar corridors, passing unoccupied offices and empty rooms. "What's going on? Huey? Elaine? Where are you guys?" Ray was confused. There was no one in the station house. This place was usually a hive of activity, buzzing with conversation and ringing 'phones. 

Ray burst into the bullpen and his eyes quickly surveyed the deserted desks. Except for one desk. His desk, his old desk. Someone was sitting at the desk looking at paperwork. Ray stared at the man sitting there. Suddenly his heart felt heavy and Ray realised that he was breathing fast. Ray tried to slow his breathing. He raised his hand to touch his face. He was sweating. Ray looked down at his hands; they were shaking. He could feel his heart beating fast. He looked again at the man sitting at his desk. Ray started to walk across to him. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. It seemed to take Ray an age to reach the desk. He stood looking down at this person. Anger seemed to build up in his chest like a balloon. Ray clenched his fists and opened his mouth to speak. 

"He can't hear you son" The old Mountie was stood at his side. Ray turned to look at him. "What do you mean he can't hear me? I don't understand, he's the only one here and I need to find out what the hell is going on!" Ray turned back to the man sitting in his old chair. "I'm sorry Ray but you can't talk to him, it's just not allowed. I brought you here to see the old place again and make peace with yourself" The old Mountie smiled gently at Ray. "I don't know what you mean, 'not allowed'. Look I work here, if I want to speak to him I will do!" Ray turned to the man in the chair but the old Mountie pulled on his arm. "This way son, if you're not going to look around then lets go" "Let go already! I want to.." Ray looked at the old Mountie and then back to the desk. He was gone. "Now look what you did, he's gone!!" Ray turned and looked around the room. Then he strode off through the double doors and into the corridor. No sign of him! 'Damn' he thought. 'Wait a minute' Ray thought he could hear someone going down the stairs. Quick as a flash Ray was after the sound. He leapt down the stairs and ran along the corridor. Through another set of doors and he found himself in the holding area. Ray skidded to a halt. All of the holding cells were empty. He stood and looked around, realising that this was where he met Benny for the first time. 

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a Detective - Armani" 

Ray turned and looked at the guy in the red suit and funny hat. 

"Come on - you mean me?" Ray realised that this guy meant him. 

"GUARD!" Ray shouted of the guard to let him out of the cell. 

Ray shook his head to clear it. That seemed so real! It was like he was back there again. Ray could even remember his exact words when he stormed back into the squad room, Benny in tow. 'Okay, who let the Mountie into the holding cells?' He had to smile at that; everyone had put up their hands. Typical! Ray's smile disappeared slowly and he turned to find the old Mountie watching him. "Had enough Son?" 

"Yeah, lets go. I wanna see Benny" Ray turned on his heel and walked past the old Mountie. They left the station house and made for the Riv. 

"Okay, I have to know. Was that guy in there my replacement?" Ray leant on the roof of the Riv and stared at the old Mountie. 

"Yes Son, that was Ray Vecchio you saw in there" "Oh" Ray opened the door and climbed in. The old Mountie got in beside him and settled back in his seat. "Right lets go and find Constable Fraser." 

Ray started the car and slipped in into 'drive'. As he pulled away from the sidewalk he had a strange look on his face. 

* * *

Fraser arrived back at the consulate and changed out of his uniform. He was soaking wet. The rain was lashing down! He didn't even dry himself off. On the way back to the consulate he had called in to the liquor store on 5th and bought alcohol, namely 6 bottles of beer. Fraser sat on his chair, a bottle in his hand, head hung low. He stared at the floor. He saw his feet poking out from the bottom of his red long johns, the floorboards, and the small rug that Ray had bought as a gift once, the book on watermarks and the rest of the beer. He felt like drinking. He had never felt the need for alcohol, but he really felt like drinking until he was drunk. Somewhere deep inside he knew he was just trying to hide, to drown his sorrows. He knew it was the wrong thing to do but who cared? Certainly not any family he had (if he had any) Ray wouldn't be able to soon. Ray. Ray was going to die. His only friend. His only true friend. Fraser took a long drink from the bottle. He could feel the cool beer sliding down his throat. It felt good. He took another long drink. Fraser brushed at his eyes with his hand. There were no tears. He felt numb inside. Another drink, empty! Fraser opened another bottle and took another long drink. Soon that was empty. Fraser threw down the bottle and picked up another. He felt woozy, he knew he was getting drunk but he didn't care. He looked around the room. His uniform was strewn around. He had literally took off his clothes and dropped them where he stood. Fraser stood up and staggered to the staff kitchen. He made himself a cup of coffee. He returned to his office, pulled out the chair and sat down heavily. Fraser took a sip of the coffee and put the cup on the desk. He rubbed his face with both hands. He was empty of feeling and now he was just about drunk. He felt exhausted and rested his head on his arms on the desk. He was soon starting to fall asleep and as he began to relax, his arm pushed over the cup. Coffee spread out across paperwork neatly arranged on the desk and then began to drip off the edge of the desk and onto the floor. 

* * *

The Riv screeched to a halt outside Benny's apartment and Ray switched off the engine. "Well am I going to get to see Benny today?" Ray folded his arms over his chest and frowned at the Mountie. "Yes Son we are going to see him" The Mountie said "but not here. You need to get across to the Consulate" "Whadda' you mean the Consulate? Benny doesn't live there!"   
Ray stared at the Mountie, who sat facing straight-ahead waiting for Ray to drive off. "I told you Son, things have changed. Benton now lives at the Consulate" "You're serious ain't you? Ray started the engine again and pulled out into traffic. "I'm usually serious. Mountie's are not known for their humour you know" The old Mountie still stared straight ahead whilst Ray drove. 

A little while later Ray pulled up outside the Consulate. "Lets go Son, lots to do and not much time to do it" The Mountie got out of the Riv and walked around to the steps of the Consulate. "Hey wait a minute, where do you get off calling me son? I'm not your son! And who the hell are you?" Ray jumped out and slammed the door. He walked round the car until he was face to face with the Mountie and planted his finger on the Mountie's chest. 

"Come on answer me or I'll take you downtown." "Look Son no use getting angry, I have already told you we are going to see Benton and then I'll explain everything. Let's go, I have very little time with you" The old Mountie started into the building, with Ray hot on his heels. Ray grabbed at the red serge "Just a damn minute, I know we're going to see Benny but you still haven't told me who you are. I think I'll have to speak to the Dragon Lady about you!" Ray gave the Mountie a 'smart' smile as if to say 'beat that!' "Look Son." The Mountie never finished as Ray grabbed the Mountie by the collar. "That's it, I've had enough of you. Now we're going to the station house and I'm going to book you for.... for...oh hell, I'll think of something" The old Mountie looked at Ray with those blue eyes, his hand holding his Stetson on his head. "Told you son, I haven't time for this and neither do you." "Okay, what do you mean by that crack?" Ray still held him by his collar and was not likely to let go anytime soon. "Just that if you want to say goodbye to Benton, then we had better do it quick...Son" The Mountie pulled Ray's hands off the serge and started to go into the building again. 

"Wait up, wait up. I SAID WAIT UP" Ray ran after the Mountie and grabbed him again. 

"What's this about Goodbye? Is Benny going back to the Yukon?" Ray looked into those eyes again. This time they seemed familiar as though he had looked into them before today. "Exactly what I said, just time for you to say goodbye before YOU leave" "Me, where am I going?" Ray was puzzled now and shook his head as if to clear it. Ray looked again into those eyes. This time the eyes smiled a small smile. "I'm Benton's father Son and you need to come with me now" Ray stared at Fraser Senior and suddenly realised why he knew the eyes. They were like Benny's eyes. But this was his father? Benny's dad was dead! Ray let go of Fraser Snr and dropped his hands to his sides. His shoulders slumped. "I suppose I'm going back undercover again. I've had it with all that and I want back into the squad" "Come on Son, let's go" Fraser Snr walked away. Ray stood slightly bemused on the steps and looked up at the imposing building suddenly remembering when he first found Benny on duty here. 

"It's you! I didn't recognise you standing there like that" Ray remembered that Benny had just stood to attention. "Okay I acted like a jerk. I didn't realise it was your father, I should have checked into it earlier. I'm sorry. Anyway you were right about the goombah in the cell. I dug around and found out that this guy's internal affairs, trying to nail my butt for illegal entrapment. Can you believe that? This guy's trying to entrap me into entrapping him. Cops! 

Any case I figure I owe you. So here it is. Thanks" 

Ray had stuck out his hand expecting Benny to shake it. 

"Come on I'm apologising here, what else do you want from me? 

Benny just stood to attention. 

You're kidding right? This is your job! This is like your real job? Tourists were passing the Consulate and staring at the guy in the silly shirt talking to a Mountie who was ignoring him. You believe it? This is his real job. They actually pay people to do this in Canada!" 

"Sorry. Ah...anyway I checked into the list of names for you and came up with something that might be something, so we should talk" "You're putting me on right? 

Ray had expected some response here but got none. He realised that Benny would not move until he was off duty and that he might as well accept that. 

Okay, you just let me know when you get off and I'll come back. You gotta break coming up soon or something?" 

Still no response! 

"I'm talking to a corpse here!" 

Ray smiled at the memory of the event. He realised that Benny had probably been laughing it up all the time he had stood there talking to him. Benny was a good guy, and a great friend. Suddenly, Ray realised that Benny's dad had gone in without him. He sprinted up the steps and into the building. 

* * *

Fraser slept for hours. And he dreamed. Fraser dreamt that he was present when Ray packed up his desk but Ray did not speak to him. Ray's face was not very clear and Fraser felt like he was watching the whole thing through a dirty pane of glass. Ray was talking to someone on the phone. Fraser suddenly realised that that someone was he. 

'Hello Ray?'  
'Hey Benny, how's the vacation going?  
'It's everything a Mountie could ask for Ray, lots of fresh air, plenty of exercise. How are things in Chicago?' 'Ah, you know Benny, Chicago is Chicago.   
Listen I'm just calling to let you know that I may not be there at the train, to pick you up' 'That's no hardship Ray, I have legs, I can walk' 'I know you have legs Benny. That's not the point. I'm just calling to let you know that.... you may be on your own for a while' 'Is something wrong?'  
'No. Why would anything be wrong? I'm just calling to let you know that I'd like to be there to pick you up but if I can't be there, it's not because I didn't wanna be. It's because something came up' 'You sure everything's alright?'  
'Look Benny, I don't know if they have a similar thing up there in Canada but down here in America we have this thing called friendship. And this is something that a friend would do. Like for example, if one friend called another friend and was supposed to meet him at a certain time and at a certain place and he can't be there, he'd usually call him and let him know.' 'So everything is alright then?' 'Yeah Benny, everything is alright'  
'That's good to hear Ray'  
'Good to hear your voice. Listen..eh. I want you to have a safe trip, and I will be in touch' 'Alright Ray'  
'You understand that eh.. I will be in touch?' 'As a friend?'  
'Yeah Benny, as a friend' 

Ray put down the phone paused and then picked up a photograph frame. He looked at the photo for a few seconds and then stored it away in his hold all. Fraser saw Ray pick up his holdall and walk towards the squad room door. Welsh watched Ray leave from his office door. Fraser stared at Welsh, then realised that Ray was almost gone. 

"RAY!" Fraser shouted "WAIT, DON'T GO" Fraser saw the door close after Ray. Suddenly he felt a stab of pain in his chest. It hurt like hell. Fraser grabbed at his chest.... 

* * *

Ray couldn't understand why no one had stopped them going into the consulate. There should have been someone on guard duty outside and at least that idiot Turnbull should have been somewhere around. Ray felt sure that the 'dragon lady' would be around looking for someone's blood! "Hey, why are we coming here?" Ray glanced at the various paintings in the reception area. He stared at one of the Queen. "Because Detective, this is where my son 'lives' now, that is if you can call sleeping in an office 'living'! He's been here ever since the apartment building on West Racine burned down. I've tried to convince him to move in with me, comforts of home you know, but he's just as stubborn as his mother was. Did I ever tell you about the time Caroline and I......" Ray held up a hand to stop Fraser Snr from talking.  
"Please not another cute Inuit story! I just couldn't stand to hear an Inuit story at the moment" Ray looked around the reception hall "We had some good times here Benny and me, must do it again" 

Ray made for the large ornate oak staircase. "So which room does Benny have?" Fraser Snr motioned him to come back down the stairs with a wave of his hand. "Not that way Son, in here" He moved towards Benny's office. Ray was confused "But this is his office?" Benny's office door was closed but that didn't stop the Mountie opening the door and walking straight in. "Come on in Son, have a look round" 

Ray followed mouth open ready to give the Mountie grief about privacy. Ray stopped in his tracks. Benny was sat up to his desk his head resting on his arms. An overturned cup lay on the top of the table, the contents dripping off the edge onto the floor. Ray looked around the room and whilst they had been partners it had never been a 'smart' office, it had always been clean and tidy. Too tidy! Now the office was a mess. There was a bedroll on the floor. Clothes were strewn around. Benny's uniform was heaped in a pile on the floor. Worst of all was the smell of the place. It smelled like a bar! Ray stared at the state of the place and could not believe his eyes! At the side of the desk were beer bottles!!! 

'What has that dirt bag Kowalski been getting you into man?' Ray thought 'Some kind of partner!' 

Ray stepped towards Benny but Fraser Snr stopped him with a hand on his arm. "No Son, he won't hear you" "What has that son of a bitch Kowalski done to him? I'll kill him!" Ray tried again to get to Benny but again he was restrained. "No Son, you need to know something. Benton cannot hear you; he will never be able to hear you. Say goodbye and let's go" 

Fraser stirred slightly and moaned in his sleep. Ray looked down at him with a sad look in his eyes. "Look Son we don't have much time left. Say your goodbyes and lets go" The Mountie just stood looking at Ray. Ray looked at Fraser's father with a puzzled look. Suddenly a foolish grin spread across his face. "Oh I get it, I'm having a dream. Yeah that's it, I'm dreaming again. I often dream about being back with Benny, so this must be another dream. That's why I can see you and why Benny doesn't hear us" Fraser Snr just smiled at Ray. 

"What's been happening? Why is Benny sleeping on the floor here when he could get another apartment? And why doesn't that replacement of mine do something?" Ray glanced around the office again. "Let me show you where he could live if he wasn't so stubborn" Fraser Snr walked to the closet and pulled the door open. Ray could see Benny's spare uniform hanging there and his spare Stetson. Suddenly he felt a cold breeze blowing from somewhere. "Come on in Son" Fraser Snr walked into the closet, past the uniform and through into another room. Puzzled Ray followed. As he walked into the closet he could smell Benny's uniform and he had to smile to himself at the spicy, clean outdoorsy smell typical of Benny. "Take a seat Son. I've put the kettle on" Fraser Snr had removed his Stetson and was making hot tea in the kitchen area. Ray looked around the room and realised it was a wonderful log cabin. There was a roaring fire, comfy looking arms chairs and a rocking chair parked in front of the fire. The kitchen area was off to the left and it looked like a bedroom and a bathroom off to the right. Ray realised that the view through the windows was a forest, which was covered in snow, in fact it seemed to be snowing hard at the moment. "Gee this is really great. You're right Benny would really like it." 'Damn fool not to live here, even if it means living with his Dad!' Ray thought. Ray sat in a chair by the fire and rubbed his hands. "This sure is a great dream!" Fraser Snr offered Ray the tea and sat in the rocking chair. 

"Look Son. I might as well come straight to the point. This is not a dream. I'm sorry Son but you're critically ill in hospital and the doctors don't expect you to pull through " Ray stared hard at Benny's Dad. "Nah, you gotta be kidding me. This is a dream" 

"No Son, I'm sorry it's not. I brought you here to say goodbye to my Son, he's going to miss you" Fraser Snr sat back in the chair and took a sip of tea. Ray sat and stared into the fire. He could tell that Fraser Snr was serious, maybe there was something to this? He had been having some strange feelings today after all. Ray cleared his throat; he might as well play along. "So what happened?" "You were on undercover assignment when the tough guys found out who you were and ... well beat you with baseball bats" Fraser Snr shook his and rocked back and forth. "Oh" Ray didn't know what else to day but he felt like it could be true. 

"So what's with Benny?" Ray suddenly felt sad but didn't know exactly why. Fraser Snr looked uncomfortable "Well he's gone out and got himself drunk" Fraser Snr shook his head "Never brought him to do that sort of thing" "Benny drunk, you must be kidding me!" Ray was aghast. "Benny's got more sense" "No Son, he's drunk and feeling sorry for himself. He needs you, you see. Always has done. He's missed you for 2 years. Had no contact with you. Didn't know if you were alive or dead and then today he gets the news" Fraser Snr finished off his tea. "I've missed him too but I couldn't contact anyone, not my family or friends. Benny must've understood that?" Ray ran his fingers through what was left of his hair. "Sure, Son he understood, but in his heart he still didn't understand. He's not seen you for 2 years or more and now you're gonna die. It's very hard for him to accept. He feels that you hurt him and now you're going to desert him and he's hurting, he's hurting a great deal" 

Ray stared into those eyes, trying to make sense of all this. "What do you mean hurt him, I've never hurt Benny, I never would" Fraser Snr stood and took the cup from Ray's hand. "Well Son, time to move on. You don't have much time" Ray stood and followed Fraser Snr almost in a trance, back into Benny's office. 'When have I hurt Benny?' he thought. 

"I'll leave you to say goodbye. I'll be in the hall waiting for you" Fraser Snr put on his Stetson and left Ray alone with Benny. 

Ray turned to Benny and crouched at the desk. He could see Benny's long eyelashes and the small scar on his right cheek near his mouth. He reached out to touch him but hesitated. Would Benny feel it if he touched him? Ray wondered. "What the hell!" Ray put his hand on his friend's head and stroked his hair. "I didn't mean to hurt you Benny. I never would. I just didn't realise that you would take it so hard when I went undercover. I haven't seen you in so long. I wish you could see me or hear me even! You're Dad says I gotta say goodbye 'cos I'm dying. I've missed you Buddy. Hell I love you! You're like a brother to me. I need you" Tears were streaming down Ray's cheeks now and he roughly wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "We had some great times together and I don't wanna go. There is so much I wanna tell you Buddy. I wanna be part of you're life again." Ray bent and placed a kiss on Benny's forehead. "I love yo..." Ray was crying hard now and had to swallow down his tears before he could speak again. "I don't wanna go Benny, I wanna stay with you, I'm sorry Benny" 

Ray wiped his eyes and stared down at Benny. Ray could feel anger welling up in him. "No! This is all wrong, I'm not ready to let go, I can't do this - we need each other. I can't let you down again!" 

Ray kissed Benny's forehead again, stood and left the office with out a backward glance. 

Ray sprinted down the hall to the door of the consulate. "Hey Fraser \- I'm not doing this, I ain't gonna die! I'm gonna fight this. I wanna see the guy in charge! I'm not taking this lying down!" 

Fraser Snr smiled at Ray "Well done Son, I knew you could do it!" Ray looked at Fraser Snr "You mean you did this to make me realise that I wanted to live?" "Of course Ray" Fraser Snr put his hand on Ray's shoulder "my boy loves you and needs you. You just needed to decide whether you wanted to live or to die. That's all Son. That's all!" 

* * *

Fraser awoke with a start. He was sweating and his heart was pounding. He could still feel the pain in his chest. He rubbed hard at the spot that hurt. Fraser glanced around the office looking for the voices he could hear. There was no one there. He swore that Ray had been with him for a moment. He even felt as though he could feel Ray touching him. Fraser closed his eyes and tried to imagine Ray before he left. It just wasn't there. Fraser knew that although he told everyone he was over Victoria, really he wasn't. Ray was the one who had helped him get through it and he had left him to go undercover. Fraser felt abandoned! Ray had said that 'he would be in touch' He had never been in touch, except for the postcard Fraser received that had the special photograph of them together. Fraser couldn't understand why Ray had gone undercover. Had he done something? Was it all about him wrecking Ray's mother's house? He thought Ray had forgiven him for that. Obviously Ray hadn't forgiven him! Ray must have gone on undercover assignment because of him. 'Yes! That's it. That's why Ray left. It was my fault' Fraser hung his head. Yet again he had driven away his best friend. And now his best friend - his only friend, was going to die! His new partner was not Ray - he tried to act like Ray and everyone referred to him as Ray - even Frannie, but he wasn't Ray. Fraser never had time to tell Ray how he felt. Ray had gone undercover whilst he was away on vacation and he had never seen or heard from him since. And now Ray was going to die. "WHY?" Fraser shouted, "Why did he leave me? Ray, why did you go?" Fraser pushed back his chair and stumbled to the bedroll, tripping over a beer bottle. Fraser picked up the bottle and threw it against the wall. It smashed into a million pieces and tinkled to the floor. Fraser collapsed onto the bedroll and put his head in his hands. "Ray Vecchio I hate you for leaving me!" 

* * *

Fraser was laid awake on his bedroll. Turnbull had knocked on his office door but Fraser decided not to answer. Turnbull had finally given up and gone away. Fraser studied the ceiling and reflected on his life. Had he wasted his life here in Chicago? His mind drifted around, remembering snippets of conversations and events that he had shared with Ray. 

"You're sure this is a good idea?"  
"Yes Fraser"  
"Quite sure?"  
"Yes"  
"Ray, I don't mean to press the point but we're standing behind a 1971 Buick Rivera. They on the other hand are hurtling down a hill in a 6 ton steel plated military weapons carrier?" "Works for me" 

Ray was a most irritating man. When he made up his mind no one could change it. He took many risks on the job but still found time to whine and moan about almost anything. 

"Damn! I should of brought the snow chains. Do we really gotta cross the border?" "Yes Ray. Although, you know, I imagine they'll have a dog sled at the bridge in case we should get stuck" 

"See! That's some kinda facetious Canadian humour. The kinda thing that must knock 'em dead up around the big house in Newfoundland" 

"I'm sorry Ray..... ahh" 

Fraser remembered how hard he had laughed at the look on Ray's face when he mentioned the dog sled. It was one of the rare times that Fraser actually let his funny side appear. Fraser found himself smiling now at the memory.   
Whilst Ray was very irritating Fraser realised that he loved the guy, loved him like a brother. It still hurt like hell that Ray had not told him what was happening about the undercover assignment. Fraser believed that the two of them had built up a relationship of trust. Trust! Yeah right! 

* * *

Frannie had finally got her mother to calm down and have a cup of hot tea. They were all shaken and Frannie watched the nurses come and go, waiting for one of them to take them to see Ray. After a while Frannie started to get angry. 'What the hell were they doing?' 

She stood as a nurse approached and grabbed her arm. "Excuse me, but when are we going to be able to see my brother?" The nurse gazed at Frannie with unconcerned eyes. "Who is your brother and where is he?" Frannie felt herself getting ready to slap someone. "Ray Vecchio and he's in ICU!" "'I'll go and see the doctor" the nurse turned and quickly walked away. 

'Calm down Frannie' She thought as she shut her eyes and tried to calm down. Her brother was dying and they were just keeping them 'hanging around'. And where was Benton? He seemed to disappear suddenly. 

The nurse tapped Frannie on the shoulder. "If you would like to come with me I'll take you to the viewing room for ICU. Only two people though." The nurse eyed the large number of people standing in the waiting area. 

"About time! Mom, we can see Ray now. Let's go. It's just you and me though rest of you will have to wait" Frannie gathered up her mother and they followed the nurse. 

"Here we go. Your brother is in the next room but you will be able to see him reasonably well from in here. I will explain anything about Mr Vecchio's treatment you don't understand, just ask. Please remember that ICU care is very intense and you may be upset by how he looks." 

The nurse pushed open the door into the viewing room. Frannie and Mrs Vecchio entered and Frannie saw an armchair, small table and a coffee machine. Almost one wall was made of glass and she could see Ray in the ICU bed. His head was swathed in bandages to just about his eyes, and his face was grossly bruised and discoloured. Drips for fluid, plasma and blood fed into his arm, while others had been inserted into his mouth. His arm was encircled with a blood-pressure cuff, and he was connected to a cardiac monitor. The rhythmic hiss of the ventilator, pumping air into Ray's lungs, and the dreadful bubbling noise of his breathing were the only sounds. A probe-like clip to measure the levels of oxygen in his blood was attached to his finger, and he lay perfectly still, unaware, in some limbo between life and death. 

"Oh my God," whispered Frannie, her hands pressed against the glass, her mother completely forgotten about. She could not believe this was Ray. He looked so vulnerable. Not the strong, cocky brother she knew. 

Frannie heard a gasp and a bump and realised that their mother had fainted dead away and was laid on the floor in a heap. The nurse bent down to look after Mrs Vecchio and Frannie saw the nurse arrange her mother in the recovery position. Frannie just stood. Frozen to the spot. She could not move or say anything. "It's just shock, she will be alright in a moment." The nurse opened the door and called to a passing Doctor. They pushed past Frannie and the doctor started checking Mrs Vecchio over. The nurse ushered Frannie out of the room whilst the Doctor administered a sedative to her mother. "Dr Carter will look after your mother. Go and sit with your relatives in the waiting area and have a cup of coffee, while we get your mother sorted out." 

Frannie just nodded and walked away in a dream. Her heart was heavy. She felt so alone. The brother she adored (but hardly ever told him so) was going to die. They were going to be alone. She and her mother were to be completely alone! Frannie cast her eyes about looking for someone, anyone who could help her. Father Behan saw Frannie walking down the corridor and realised she was in shock. "Where is your mother Francesca?" He put an arm around her shoulders and Frannie looked at him with unseeing eyes. "She, she is...she fainted and the doctor is helping her" Frannie pointed back the way she had come. Father Behan led Frannie to the waiting area and helped her sit. "I'll go and see if I can help with anything" Frannie nodded as Father Behan walked away. 

* * *

After what seemed like hours the doctor and Father Behan came back. "Your mother needs to go home. Father Behan here has offered to help you get your mother home to bed. I would suggest that she stay there, at least for tomorrow. There's nothing you can do for Ray; we're doing all we can, let us do our jobs? We'll call you if there is any change in his condition" The doctor motioned to the nurse approaching with a subdued Mrs Vecchio on her arm. Frannie nodded and her and Father Behan put their arms around Mrs Vecchio and slowly walked away. 

Frannie's mind was running wild. Benton was no where to be found! He had abandoned them and Ray when they needed him the most. What the hell did he think he was doing? Her mother had always treated him like another son, inviting him to their home for holidays and celebrations. Even when Ray was 'undercover' Fraser had always been welcome, and how did he treat them? Like he didn't care! As they approached Father Behan's car Frannie realised she could not take this lying down. She was going to see Benton, right now! "Father, will you take my mother home? I have to go and see Benton." Father Behan nodded "Of course my dear, don't worry, I'll get her home safe. You run along" Father Behan opened the car door. "Thank you father." 

Frannie rummaged through her bag as she ran towards to parking lot. Her mind was spinning. She was so angry. Slamming the door she grabbed the steering wheel and closed here eyes. She tried to take control, to calm down before she drove to Benton's apartment. Starting the engine, she rammed the car in reverse and backed out. Slamming the car in 'drive', she burned rubber leaving the parking lot. 

* * *

Fraser was half-asleep when he heard a car screech to a halt outside. Immediately, his first thought was that he was late and that Ray was coming to pick him up. He sat up and looked around. Suddenly it hit him like a Mack truck. Ray was in hospital, in critical condition. 

Fraser stood up and rubbed his face with his hand. He heard voices and then quick footsteps approaching and wondered who could be coming to see him. 

The door crashed back on its hinges as Frannie marched into the office. She stood motionless for a moment, then turned to look around the small room. Fraser stood by the desk, clad only in his red long johns and clutching a beer bottle. Frannie looked into his face and found only surprise and embarrassment there. Frannie marched across to Fraser and stood looking up into his embarrassed face. "What the hell are you doing to us? We needed you!" Frannie shouted at Fraser, tears streaming down her face. Fraser recoiled at the anger in her voice. "You son-of-a-bitch!!!!!!" Frannie screamed. Before Fraser realised what was happening, she had raised her hand and slapped him, hard across the face. "Where were you when we needed you? You have always been part of our family. We accepted you into our home for Ray's sake. We grew to care about you. L..love you even!" Frannie was crying hard now. "and what do you do at the first sign of trouble? Y.. you run away! You hide! You can't even have the d..decency to be there for R.. Ray never mind us! Well F.. Fraser, we don't ever want to see you again! You can go to hell! You are not w..welcome in our house any more. I hate you Fraser!" Frannie ran crying from the office. 

Fraser stood staring at the door. He was stunned. What had he done? Slowly he sat on the chair and rested his arms on his knees. He lifted his hand to his face and touched his left cheek. It was hot and tender. Frannie had meant every word she said. Fraser stared at his hands wondering at what had just happened. Fraser decided that he should go to the hospital and see Ray. He had to make his peace before...before..... He scanned the room for clothes. His wet uniform was crumpled up on the floor. Fraser walked to the 'closet', which really was a store cupboard, and pulled out jeans, tee and thick plaid shirt. Quickly, he pulled on his clothes and hiking boots. Shrugging his way into his peacoat, he snatched his billfold from the unit top. Fraser glanced around the room and saw his Stetson lying on the floor where he had dropped it. He stared at it for a moment, then turned and left his office without a backward glance. 

Fraser decided to walk to the hospital, the fresh air would do him good. Give him time to think. The rain had stopped but the sidewalks were still wet. There was a fresh clean smell in the air. It was dark as Fraser walked past children's park and the smell of the newly washed trees and grass made him long for Canada. He looked up and saw a few stars. 'In Canada I would be able to see so many more' he thought. Maybe he should go away? Spend some time at his father's cabin doing some renovation work. Anyway, it would do Dief good to get back to the wilderness for a time. The more Fraser thought about it, the more he was convinced that it was the right thing to do. Frannie had made it obvious that she and the family wanted no more to do with him. Maybe he should even quit the Service! He didn't feel like he was worthy of the RCMP's any more anyway. With Ray gone there would be no one left. Fraser started to run. What if he was too late? 

* * *


End file.
